T1+Writing

__Tuesday 5th April 2011__

__WALT - write an argument using persuasive language features to convince people to visit the Bay of Plenty.__

 __Success Criteria__  __My writing contains an introduction, 3 key arguments and a conclusion__ __I will state and restate my opinion__ __I use a range of language resources and punctuation__ __My paragraphs follow the S E E structure__

 I think people should visit the bay of plenty for these three great reasons. My first reason is  places that people could visit my second reason is   it is cheap to visit places in the bay of plenty my last reason is   what school would your child go to.

 My first reason is place’s you could visit. There are lots of great  places you could visit like wiamareno is a fun water park you could go there instead  of wet and wild and you could go for a walk up the Mount Maunganui for a amazing  view’s of the Bay of Plenty also you could go to laser tag, ten pin bowling, paint ball,  blo carting and lots of other place. That is my first reason why you should visit the  bay of plenty.

My second reason is it is cheap to visit places in the bay of plenty. For example Wiamareno cost only $20 per person and wet and wild coast $100 per person. If you want something free to do you could go to the beach, walk up the mount, go to the park or maybe go and have a look at the Wahi gold mine. It is a lot cheaper to visit places in the bay of plenty and a lot better.

My last reason is what if your child needs to come to school in the bay of plenty. If   your child went to primary school a good school to go to would be Tauranga. primary school, st marys, green prak and maungatapu. If your child went to intermediate a great school to go to would be Tauranga intermediate. So we just don’t have great places to visit we also have great schools.

So please come to bay of plenty because we have place you could visit we have very cheap places <span style="display: block; font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Kokonor; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"> you could visit and we have great schools your child could go to. Once again visit the bay. <span style="color: #d70f0f; font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Kokonor; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">﻿ <span style="display: block; font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Kokonor; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"> <span style="display: block; font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Kokonor; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d70f0f; font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Kokonor; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">This is as huge improvement on the first piece of argument writing your did Korban, well done. You have 3 clear paragraphs with 3 main ideas. I like how you have linked you paragraphs too. Well done for recognising that there are other places in the world to visit and stating why BOP is a better place. You need to now focus on using stronger imperatives to really convince me. Try putting in a rhetorical question also. Also don't forget capital letters for Proper Nouns (names of places!) Overall a fantastic effort. <span style="display: block; font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Kokonor; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span style="color: #d70f0f; font: normal normal normal 13px/normal Kokonor; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Miss Crone :-)